March 2011
27 posts
FYSE don't do manifestos, but if they did...
This is a genuine manifesto from UWE student elections. Amazing.
Samuel Barnard
I am a human being. I have needs, wants and interests similar to those of most other human beings. I am genuinely just like you, unless you live in a mansion with a swimming pool. Then I’m nothing like you. I want to live a fulfilled existence of social interaction with the growth of knowledge through discussion....
Blunderwatch with Bill Oddie: day one
Phew! Hello lovelies, it’s been a busy day. In all my years of watching, I’ve never seen a day where so much hype was followed by so little. So, I went digging like Alan Titchmarsh in Charlie Dimmock’s backyard, and here’s what I found.
I’ll start where we all love to be; AU. So many things to say here, that it seems pointless saying them because you’ll...
“I don’t like how people can just add you to random groups. I feel...”
– Hear that Facebook? This poor girl feels violated. We do too.
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We’ll be doing most of our live updates from Twitter: but we will, of course, be sharing to here and to our Facebook page as well (link on the left).
“@fuckyeahcardiff I really want to change me profile pic to your #tigerblood...”
– Oliver Twist (@O11Y) on Twitter. That’s the spirit son. That’s the spirit.
“I want to get a Thatcher t-shirt… I can’t find any positive ones...”
– Modern students are just not following the ideals set by their forebears.
Panic! Paranoia! Peeing!
With less than 12 hours to go until crudely hand painted banners flutter limply from the railings of Cardiff’s ugliest building, tension is high.
“Is it normal to be panicking this much?” asks a potential candidate. Well, yes. This year’s elections promise to be almost as hard fought and ridiculous as previous years. Can the spectacle match the enthralling...
“I can lead a team but not a team of pussies.”
– One candidate is beginning to be worried their team might not be up for the cup…
“If the Socialists get in, I’ll cry! Can you sabotage them?”
– A good friend of FYSE; to be fair, she might have a point. Nothing would ever get done, they’d always complain whatever settlement they got. However, we’re not here to sabotage anyone.
Powell 'proud' to have thwarted tyrant
Sarah Powell has come out strongly opposing Olly Birrell’s ill-fated tyrannical leap of faith last night, saying that she is ‘proud’ of being a thorn in the side of facism.
The Student Media editor, responsible for gair rhydd, Quench, Xpress Radio and CUTV, was thought to be one of the main reasons the current president and self proclaimed ‘eternal leader’ of the...
“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by...”
– Plato. Does he mean ‘dumber’, or ‘dressed in the most dumb costume’?
Birrell 'tried to form one party Union'
Shocking reports have reached us suggesting that current Union President Olly Birrell attempted to pass a motion where he could, theoretically, waive students’ right for an election and simply declare himself president for life.
The news, which comes at an awkward time for the much respected figure, was passed to us by a source who wishes not to be named but did say this:
...
WatchIn all honesty, we’ll disappointed if this doesn’t happen at least once during the coming week. But which two will it be?
“I should probably care; I’m here for the next four years, but I just...”
– Bystander. We predict a long week for this chap.
“My plan is to annoy people.”
– Anonymous candidate when asked what their plan for the week was. Hardly unique, it has to be said.
“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the...”
– So said Oscar Wilde; he forgot to note that the best way to do this was while dressed as an archaic television character or giant chilli pepper.
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The Importance of Politics
With student elections round the corner, it’s an important time to consider your stance on current political issues. Is a valuable education worth the rise in tuition fees? And if so, where does this leave UWIC?
Opinions are complex, and I’m often misunderstood as being racist, like when I said I like about 75% of Bloc Party, or have trouble trusting the brownies at McDonalds. Nonetheless, I...
“As kids we’re not taught how to deal with success; we’re taught how...”
– Charlie Sheen has some useful advice for the successful this election year.
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